Xmas special – YourPopCorner and Thy Critic Man join forces

silentnight1

The holiday season is upon us and it’s the best time of the year to remember some amazing horror choices featuring axe-wielding Santa Clauses and Christmassy massacres, isn’t it? Having this in mind,  how could I not have accepted Thy Critic Man’s invitation to bring out the horrors of Christmas? Thy Critic Man wears his creepy Santa costume and suggests ridiculous campy fun that will keep you and your friends absolutely entertained. From my part, a vengeful and utterly twisted Santa Claus is the way to go. Enjoy!

Silent Night (2012) – Review

Have you been good or naughty? When your life is at stake, you better have no dark secrets, as creepy-Santa is on a slaughter spree.

Director Steven C. Miller stands behind the remake of the Christmas horror classic Silent Night, Deadly Night and gives us the modern version of a vengeful Santa – a version that wants one of the children’s favorite people to be an insanely violent and gruesome serial killer.

In the original 1984 version we are immediately aware of the vicious killer’s identity and why he’s performing those horrific acts of violence. Billy, a handsome but traumatized young man, goes on a killing spree in order to punish the sinners.

Steven C. Miller’s modern creation does things a bit differently – and may I say, he takes brutality on another level. In the 2012 version the masked Santa, whose identity remains a mystery until the very ending delivers a bloody and rather twisted plan.

On Christmas Eve a small Midwestern town is in a state of absolute holiday frenzy. Dozens of Santa Clauses are strolling down the streets and all residents are overwhelmed by the festive spirit.

"Where are my cookies?"

“Where are my cookies?”

Lead actress Jaime King plays the role of Aubrey Bradimore, a sad but yet lovable deputy who tries to cope with her husband’s loss. When everyone – even herself – starts to doubt her value in the police force, a series of grisly murders agitate her and her fellow colleagues.

An angry and merciless Santa is roaming the streets of the small town spreading horror and feasting our eyes on pure gore. Silent Night is probably the best choice for unlimited bloodshed and twisted murders. Axes come and go, chippers start working (not for trees) and Christmas lights become effective murder tools.

Horror films rarely – if not ever – show acts of violence regarding small children, but Silent Night destroys this taboo. The reason behind it is definitely Steve C. Miller, who also surprised us in Under The Bed with a very graphic scene of a young boy being killed by the Boogeyman. Similarly, in Silent Night young children are susceptible to Santa’s gory plan.

Fact is, Silent Night has a quite average score on IMDb. However, it is a very fun and satisfying holiday slasher that is hard to leave anyone unaffected. It’s twisted, disturbing, exciting, disgusting at times and somewhat hilarious.Additionally, the cast is a key factor that makes Silent Night a very decent and entertaining choice. Malcolm McDowell‘s role as Sheriff Cooper definitely gives prestige to the movie and Donal Logue’s character as the possible villain spices things up.

Some scenes might make the stomach cringe, but for the fans of the genre Silent Night is not as bad as its score suggests. I say give it a chance and if you’re looking for a fun Christmas slasher, Silent Night should be on your list.

And for the first time in YourPopcorner, I dare to quote Dorothy in Jerry Maguire: “You Had me at hello”. 7/10

Santa’s Slay (2005) – Review

by the amazing Thy Critic Man, the superhero who fights against terrible movies,awful television and horrendous videogames. Make sure you follow his awesome blog, he’s doing an excellent job!

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You will know what you are getting into once you take a good look at the photo that I have used to showcase this film. That is former world heavyweight champion Bill Goldberg military pressing a poor lady to her death. He is dressed up in a Santa suit.  A quick look at any of the posters will reveal that Goldberg plays a demon Santa Claus who goes on a murder spree. Put two and two together. This is going to be a ridiculously stupid movie that has every intention to be a ridiculously stupid movie. It is a horror comedy that intends to be something along the lines of a Jack Frost 1 or 2. Bashing it for being stupid is stupid.The opening scene alone sets the stage for what kind of movie this will be…

ICICLE SPEAR!

ICICLE SPEAR!

…and it is incredibly ridiculous. Santa comes down the chimney and humorously murders an entire family as they enjoy (and bicker) during Christmas dinner. In this opening scene, he slaughters Corky Romano,Rebecca Gayheart, and the Sorell sisters in this cameo-filled slice of turkey. It doesn’t change. The tone remains the same throughout. My entire point is that you should know what you are getting into before sitting down to enjoy this. Once you do,you can pop open a few cans of beer, calls some friends over, and revel in the ridiculousness of it all.

Brett Ratner’s former assistant, David Steiman, shits in the stockings of his former boss by writing and directing a debut film that outdoes everything that Ratner has ever done. From 2006’s X-Men: The Last Stand to his most recent release, Hercules, which also stars a famous pro-wrestler (THE ROCK), Ratner has never made a flick this enjoyable. I’m not bashing Ratner here. I am just honestly surprised that Steiman hasn’t been given the opportunity to make more movies.

Santa’s Slay is no Christmas masterpiece. It isn’t A Christmas Carol. It isn’t A Christmas Story. It isn’t a Miracle on 34th Street. The acting, characterization, and emotional significance that Steiman offers here is not even close to being on the same levels as the aforementioned holiday classics. It isn’t as memorable as Die Hard. It isn’t as expertly crafted as Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. None of this matters. All that matters is that Steiman’s gift to the world works as a great stocking stuffing. He is very creative with his gag gift. I’d take this over receiving coal any day.

Superpower Film Scale: 3.5/5 (Intoxicated viewing)

1: Villainous Waste

2: Careless Bystanderunnamed

3: Hero unaware of powers

4: On the verge of greatness

5: Heroic film

Standout acting heroes: Bill Goldberg

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Comments
5 Responses to “Xmas special – YourPopCorner and Thy Critic Man join forces”
  1. thycriticman says:

    Beautiful. I made it onto Maria’s site. I MUST BE FAMOUS NOW!

    We made a wonderful team! And these flicks most certainly classify as wonderful beer-drinking entertainment for the Christmas season!

    Like

  2. Great stuff! Always great to see a team-up of epic proportions.

    Liked by 1 person

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